To Be or Not to Be: Part Three

By Saaye Kage no Ansatsusha

“Ow…my head hurts…” the dignified businessman like, calmly collected, serious-secretary looking, spectacled American grumbled as he regained his conscious. “Hey, are you okay?” a voice asked as he opened his eyes. It was Weiß minus their leader. “You… Weiß! Get out of my way!” the dignified businessman like, calmly collected, serious-secretary looking, spectacled American growled, attempting to punch them all. However, all three dodged the blow. “Stay cool man! We are only trying to help you!” a lanky, honey-colour, noodle-hair, shades bearing, women-lover protested. Yet, to the dignified businessman like, calmly collected, serious-secretary looking, spectacled American, help from Weiß was like Schuldig shaving his head bald- something impossible.

“Don’t worry, we are only helping you to address your woman problems,” a feminish, sweet shounen, dart-throwing, missing-memory youth added. Woman problems? Upon those two simple words came an avalanche of protests from the dignified business man like, calmly collected, serious-secretary looking, spectacled American.

“But guys, isn’t this a bit too…”

“Nonsense! Our dear little Crawfie here needs help!” the lanky, honey-colour, noodle-hair, shades bearing, women-lover replied, shutting his friend’s mouth. “Anyway, we found you lying at the park with a dagger and an umbrella stuck in your forehead. Don’t worry. We have already successfully pulled them out!”

“Then…then how did you know?”

“You were talking in your sleep,” the feminish, sweet shounen, dart-throwing, missing-memory youth explained, “Anyway, we have decided to help you with your problems.”

“Yeah, great advice from the greatest womanizer in this whole series practically guarantees you success (though I’m not responsible for failures)! Well, I would have taught you everything today if I could but my Kasumi-chan is waiting for me now so I can only give a little advice. First, select a target. Second, go for a date. Third, well this is optional but you can book a hotel room for the night.

“Pardon me but elaboration please.”

“Well I would actually worry for you Crawford coz the only single, available, living girl in this series is Birman. Anyway, I don’t really think she would like you...” the feminish, sweet shounen, dart-throwing, missing-memory youth stuttered to the slightly insulted dignified businessman like, calmly collected, serious-secretary looking, spectacled American.

“Well, there’s actually Aya-chan too… not to mention she is in the bloom of her youth…” the lanky, honey-colour, noodle-hair, shades bearing, women-lover continued despite some apparent violent protests from a certain boy-next-door looking, squeaky clean profile, highly energetic soccer player.

“Well then, we have to go now! Youji-kun has Kasumi-chan waiting for him while Ken-kun has to go video-conferencing with his Yuriko-chan. As for me…” the feminish, sweet shounen, dart-throwing, missing-memory youth blushed at the thought of his date tonight. Then, the certain boy-next-door looking, squeaky clean profile, highly energetic soccer player flagged a taxi down the road as the trio left.

Well, the trio had certainly made one very important point about the lack of eligible ladies. The dignified businessman like, calmly collected, serious-secretary looking, spectacled American had absolutely not much of a choice left. It was either Birman or Aya-chan. It was evident as to whom the dignified businessman like, calmly collected, serious-secretary looking, spectacled American called. He had neither the address nor telephone number of Birman.

The ex coma princess, pigtails fan, pretty pink-eyed, unageable shoujo grabbed the bottle of shampoo and squeezed out the liquid, slapping it onto her hair and washing it. A bubble bath always felt good especially in spring when all was nice and cool still. Today had been an enjoyable day for her especially at school. Throughout the entire time, she had watched her friends throwing presents and gifts to their sweethearts. However, the ex coma princess, pigtails fan, pretty pink-eyed, unageable shoujo had never ever given a box of chocolates or a gift to anyway guy in her entire life except for her Ran-niichan. Well, this didn’t prevent some thick-skinned fellows in the school from asking her about their gifts. Love, that was what every teenage girl desired nowadays. However, ex coma princess, pigtails fan, pretty pink-eyed, unageable shoujo had not met that special person yet. She was going to take things slow for she believed that there was no rushing for love.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Aha! That should be Natsumi-san! Natsumi and her had arranged to go out shopping for some new clothes and accessories. It was not that ex coma princess, pigtails fan, pretty pink-eyed, unageable shoujo was a shopaholic but company was good, especially when there was no one else to accompany her. However, it just occurred to her that she was still bathing. Yet, the doorbell was ringing non-stop, begging her to come quickly to open the door. Well, it should not matter much since they were all female and that ex coma princess, pigtails fan, pretty pink-eyed, unageable shoujo was afraid of offending Natsumi. Hastily, she got out of the bath, wrapped herself in a pink towel and dashed out of the bathroom, to the door.

The dignified businessman like, calmly collected, serious-secretary looking, spectacled American fidgeted as he waited for the person to open the door. In his right hand was a bouquet of fresh flowers awaiting for the fair maiden and he was dressed in his best clothes. Well, to tell the truth the dignified businessman like, calmly collected, serious-secretary looking, spectacled American did not have an elaborate wardrobe so all he wore was his normal cream-coloured business suit. He definitely was not going to attempt anything the lanky, honey-colour, noodle-hair, shades bearing, women-lover had highly suggested. He would have probably ended up looking like a stripper or those drug-hookers. After sometime when the door still had not been answered, he decided to give another try. As he was about to ring the bell again, the door suddenly swung open. There was the person he was supposed to meet, standing there dressed only in a pink towel.